Just so you know...

Some people were wondering whether I had blocked them on my msn. Now, considering one of those people was Kate, I took it seriously, decided to post this -- this being a message saying no, I (most likely, I'm not saying I've never blocked or deleted anyone,) have not blocked or deleted you, I am just going through some crap right now and am being above and beyond anti-social.

so don't worry about it..

just leave me be, otherwise my usually hidden violent tendencies will turn into latent ninja rage.

Oh yeah, and Happy Halloween.

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One tired duck...

You are looking at one tired duck.













Now, you may be asking yourselves:

"Why duck? Why are you so tired that you are sleeping in the middle of the day?"

And I would turn over and mumble something like: "piss off, I need some sleep."

And most likely, (depending on how well you know me, of course) you would say:
"It's two O'clock in the afternoon, deal with a little friendly conversation."

Or, the more polite members of you might just ignore my rude comment and say

"Is it because you had a lot of assignments due this week? Did you have any tests to worry about? Were you working very hard?"

And, I would be forced to answer "no" to every single one of these questions, because otherwise, I would be lying. I had nothing really to do this week, and yet I still managed to skip a yoga class, (I think I watched the Food Network instead,) shirk the homework I was suppose to be getting ahead on, skip one class so I could sleep in, and consciously gave up an A+ for an A, because I was too lazy to do the extra assignment it would take.

Also, tonight may just be a night I go to bed at 10pm. Go me.

I think it has something to do with the fact that all of my busy-ness has caught up with me and I'm just crashing because I don't have any of the adrenaline I have when I'm stressed out. Hopefully though, I get it back soon, since next week is the week from hell, including 6 tests in as many days (yes, there is a test on a saturday - joy,) and if I feel as crappy and tired, and emotional as this week, I may just decide to become a bag lady who lives in a refrigerator box. Or worse, a reject who lives in their mother's basement and works at Taco Bell.

I needed a laugh, thought I would share:

(Click for big)

http://www.youdamnkid.com

when friendly banter goes wrong..

Uh..........................

I'm at a loss here. When "friendly banter" ends in "this is tiresome, im going to go and get some work done." That's bad, right? The sinking feeling doesn't bode well, does it?

Shit.

Fuck.

This is too hard. I give up.

Crap 18th C homework

Oh look! I've found the perfect paragraph to exemplify the novel Moll Flanders to you all.

"Then it occured to me what an abominable creature I am! And how is this innocent gentleman going to be abus'd by me! How little does he think, that having divorc'd a whore, he is throwing himself into the arms of another! that he is going to marry one that has lain with two brothers, and has had three children by her own brother! one that was born in Newgate, whose mother was a whore, and is now a transported thief; one that has lain with thirteen men and has had a child since he saw me (ie. she went on vacation after getting engaged, got married to another man, got pregnant, extended the vacation, and now plans to marry this guy) poor gentleman!"

Keep in mind, also, that this is page 144 and the novel is 300 pages long, and she does not stop getting into trouble for a long, long while yet.

The joys of Scrabble...

You know, a picture is supposed to be worth a thousand words -- and if you look at this picture, (which has at least 20,) I think you will begin to understand the fun we had after we stopped playing by the rules.

My personal favorites are ARATULAQUERHONE and BIGOTY (Not Bigot, not Bigoted, not Bigotry... Bigoty.)

What NOT to Wear: Cat-ear girl edition

So there is this idiot in my Children's lit class that annoys the hell out of me. She is obnoxious, always comes in late, interrupts the prof to share her very unenlightened and unasked for opinions, and dresses like she is on crack. She has worn cat-ears on more than one occasion, and is just generally poorly dressed all of the time. I feel like sikking Clinton and Stacy on her. I was inspired by her outfit today, to draw you a picture. Let us all pretend we are in front of the 360 degree mirror, shall we? (Can you be "in front" of a 360 degree mirror?)

Now, as you can see, this girl needs some help. Legwarmers on her arms, a lacy black slip over jeans, a cat-ear toque? It's appalling. And to top it all off, when she put on her outdoor-clothes to brave the weather at the end of class, I saw her pulling a grey leopard print scarf out of her bag. Notice that the top and the shoes are un- coordinated, baby pink shoes and a bold pink turtleneck. At first glance I thought the goggles were actually cats-eye glasses, but I was wrong.

Do you think she had a seizure while she was getting dressed this morning? Because I almost suffered one from looking at her.

Yoga BREAKTHROUGH!

Alright, woo! (So much for apathy, it lasted a whole two days)

So yoga tonight was friggin awesome! I get there and find that Linda (my regular instructor) has hurt her foot, isn't here because she's hurt her foot and had to go get x-rays. (Sounds like she's a little prompter at these things than I am, perhaps?) But that's not why it was awesome. Ok, well, I do like Jenn (the fill-in) better than Linda, so I suppose it's part of what made it awesome. But was really made it awesome was that I got totally into some postures that I couldn't get into before! It was like a whole new threshold of duck-flexibility!

Now, any of you who know anything about yoga will know that in a downward-dog, the goal is to eventually get the heel of your feet and your forehead touching the ground. Like so: (well, almost like so -- she can't touch her head yet, but im sick of googling)

Unfortunately, I still can't do that, I look sorta like her only my heels are slightly off the ground. HOWEVER, when you do your foreward bend before you are just about to go into downward -dog you want to bend at the hips, keeping the back and legs straight, and putting the palms of your hands straight down on the mat so you can jump backwards to go into plank. Now this, ladies and gentlemen, is something that I accomplished for the very first time, tonight! (Among other things, but we're not getting into that since it would take forever, I'm that awesome.)

Usually I even have issues touching my toes with my fingers, let alone getting the palms of my hands on either side of my foot - but tonight I did it! woot!

So you all better be proud of me so that I'm not the only one.

Oh, and there is something else I am compelled to share with you, just because I didn't particularly want to know, so I'm going to share around so we can all not want to know:

My instructor has a brazillian. Also, she does yoga sans underwear.

lurrrrrrvely, I know.

Hey, don't blame me, you kept reading!

I've been contemplating writing this post for the past couple of days, and it's finally gotten to that point where I can't really put it off anymore. Autumn has always been a favorite of mine, but I can honestly say that usually, I'm not particularly sad to see it go: snow means Christmas and Christmas means an end to exams and the beginning of a new year.

This year autumn has been a struggle for me. I found myself noticing the first tree on campus to change colours, and I can still remember where it is: the bush to the left, on the far side of the footbridge over the river. That was two weeks ago, and there are no leaves left on that bush. I tried to take advantage of my ability to be outside, I went on long walks and took myriads of pictures for no reason. But I can't let it go this time. This summer was too wonderful and amazing to be able to embrace the fact that it's over. Time has been going really quickly for me the last few months, but as soon as the snow hits the ground the world turns a little slower. And with the world turning slower, I can't spend all of my time wishing for next summer.

It snowed last night.

It didn't stay of course, but my heart dropped to my toes and the realization came that I couldn't waste my time resisting something that is so utterly out of my control. Now I'm left feeling bereft, not a little be sad, and apathetic to everything I have to do in the near future.

Missed a step...

So apparently I missed out on something very important during my childhood. Now, once I've explained, it may seem just like another excuse for drawing on yourself, but Kate assures me it's ever so much more than that.

So now Kate will demonstrate for us. I won't quite call her Vana White, because all you can see is her hand, and she was grossed out after she saw the pictures and said her thumb and the meat of her hand look like a chicken leg. But she's the closest thing I've got.

When you read this you've got to picture someone doing it in a very kid-type way. You know -- that look you get when you're a kid and you're showing another kid a neat trick for the first time? You get that I'm-gonna-do-this- really-fast-and-superior-to-you tone of voice and/or facial expression. So imagine that while you read this. Or you could even read it aloud yourself! whee!








If you didn't get that, the thing you are saying along with the hand-gestures is "this is his face, his face is SMUSHED!"

Clever, huh?

Now all I have to do is go try to wash this shit off of my hands...

A trip to the grocery store..

I just spent huge amounts of money on food that better last me the rest of the semester. But it won't -- I just know it.

I bought stuff like yeast, and cardamom -- bad sign. It says to me "duck, you are stressing out over midterms. Therefore you feel like doing mad amounts of baking" and that would be a good strategy -- baking is good for the soul -- except for the fact that I will end up eating what I create, and that is not good for my waist. Also, time spent kneading bread is time that could have been spent reading Thoreau. Ah, the dilemma. Ah well, I will compromise by reading Thoreau... while my bread is rising.

Ahahaha!

So, I sent in that rant about smoking into the school paper, The Argus and they published it! ahahahahahah!

I can't believe it, its too funny.

Of course.. they edited some bits out. Like me accusing the admin. of being on drugs when they thought up the smoking rules.... but hey, s'all good. ha ha ha

What a mess..

I really wish I had parents who didn't get their kicks by firing police reports at each other. This divorce could not come soon enough, let me tell you. Seperated for 6 years? We've all had enough. Emergency court session tomorrow, hopefully that will help get things in motion. This has got to stop.

A picture is worth a thousand words...

Yeah, Happy Turkey day, people! Or, those people of you that are not Americain, anyway. And for those of you who are -- Happy Columbus Day! ( I don't know why he gets a day, just for making a wrong turn, but hey, maybe its just me.)

I spent my turkey day doing homework, although I did sleep in til 11, which was supppppppper nice. And then, we trekked over to Swiss Chalet, and had us some fake turkey (because it was chicken) dinners. Actually, I was the only one who had a fake turkey dinner. Kate had a wrap and Mriss had this loaf..thing.

It was really sad because my first plate got to me and was completely cold, and I had to send it back -- first time I've ever sent anything back at a restauraunt. I was reminded of Rhiannon's tragic experience at my farewell bash. But these people were nicer to me and brought me a whole new plate. Which, consequently, was SO hot, I burned the roof of my mouth, and got a blister. Which was GROSS. And of course I kept tonguing it until it burst, which was disgusting.

We all ate so much we wanted to hurl walking back, and Marissa forgot to go to the washroom before we left and had to do the "I have to pee walk" all the way home. It wasn't what I normally have, but it was still great.

Thanks guys.
xoxoxo
-the duck.

RIP

So I did something slightly morbid today. I went to class this morning and it was a really clear, if cold, autumn morning. When I got out, I looked across the street and saw a spectacular burst of colour on a tree. The camera was grabbed, and I made my way to the Riverside cemetery. Pictures of the tree were taken, but I'm far more interested in the ones I took of the gravestones.

I haven't spent a lot of time in cemeteries - mostly because I know all of 2 people who are on that side of the pearly gates. It was odd though, I'd expected to feel very somber and maybe a little creeped out. It wasn't like that at all though. I mean, I wasn't running around humming "Hit me Baby One More Time" or anything, but it was just calm, relaxing, and insightful.

This was a gravestone that really intrigued me. All it says is "LOVELADY." No dates, no other names, nothing.

The stone is very impressive. I wonder what the story behind it is. I'm afraid I can't help imagining a romantic love story that ended tragically. Someone must have loved her, what happened? Maybe she died of consumption like Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge. Or maybe she was killed in a jealous rage by her husband, when he found out about her wild love affair with the ruggedly handsome gardener (who, of course, subsequently knocked off the husband for stealing his love away...)


This one gets to me because it's a child's grave, and it is my firm belief that no parent should have to outlive their child.
It was intruiging, otherwise, because of the moss and lichen growing slowly up the cherub's body, and covering the inscription.

The statuette is also, as you may have noticed, quite headless. To me that brings home the fact that these tributes to the dead are just as temporary as we are, although I suppose we like to imagine otherwise.

Alright, okay...

So maybe I won't. The sun's come out, so I feel a little better. I mean - it's still raining, but if I pretend I'm a cat and sun on the light spot on my carpet then I can forget about mostly everything...

Fucking Nazi Profs

Just bombed a midterm. Tom is currently unimpressed with me. Had a "female wellness exam" yesterday, it's been raining every day for a week, I'm fat, and I don't get any turkey on turkey day. Not that I need it. THIS SUCKS.

I'm going to go and drown myself in lake Tamblyn.

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Dear The Argus,

The hot issue on campus has been smoking for a while now, and I am most definitely not impressed with the situation as it stands. I am a third year Con-Ed non-smoking student living on campus, and the situation affects me a little more than I would like.

For a little re-cap: Administration pushed through a student referendum at the end of my first year, to ask whether the campus should become a non-smoking one. The results came out (among much grumbling and accusations of a deliberate trick question,) that the following year the campus would be completely smoke free. Next year rolled around and people were smoking as usual -- half the people didn't know, half the people didn't care. When the rule started being enforced, people began smoking on the sly -- staff included. (Don't think that those of you who smoked in the bushes behind Keewatin went unobserved!) In response to the general outcry, this year Administration has introduced a compromise: labeled smoking areas.

Now, I don't know how these smoking-areas are working out for the smokers, and I am not about to risk lung cancer to go into one and ask, but I for one am not too impressed. For the most part people are using them, which comes as a surprise. However, I don't imagine the smokers will be too delighted to be using them when come winter, as the smoking-areas consist of blocks of cement arranged together in a square and offer no protection against inclement weather.

As for me, I object to them because of where they are placed. I don't know who had the bright idea of putting the smoking-areas along all the major walkways on campus, (or what they were on at the time,) but it is unappreciated. I understand that it probably encourages the smokers to actually use the areas, but it exposes non-smokers to more smoke than ever. It used to be that every time I walked to class, I would pass by one or two smokers, hold my breath for a second, and move on. This year, I get to walk by a smoking area where many smokers will sit smoking simultaneously, together creating a carcinogenic cloud around them that I estimate to be about a block high and wide.

And this is supposed to be an improvement?

Please, I implore you: Either make only the buildings on campus smoke-free, ban smoking on campus altogether and make people hide in the bushes again, or build actual (air-tight!) shelters for the smokers. Not only to protect the smokers from the weather but the non-smokers from the smoke - which was the goal in the first place, right?

Respectfully yours,
--The duck

Too funny

wha?

Apparently, Xena Warrior Princess had a pretty big effect on somebody... Who'd have thought?

Neptune, Pluto... Xena and Gabrielle?

Real-Tv

Once again, I am sitting at home on a Saturday night, having watched Aladdin and played Scrabble.

Isn't my life scintillating?

Well, at least I was using my creative powers. While Kate and I were lounging about today we thought of a brilliant new reality teevee show! It's going to be called "Kitchen Wars" and the goal of the game is to be able to clean the kitchen as fast as you can. Our team was called the "We'regonnawin!" team.

We practised team-dishwashing after supper, me washing, Kate drying and putting away. Kate was egging me on, but I broke under the pressure a few times, mostly with bouts of hysterical laughter, but also from the abuse she was hurling at me (don't criticize her, it had to be done, I was being leisurely, and this is all about speeeeeeeeeed!)

It was tough, I don't think many people could do it. Martha Stewart could be a judge, it could totally work, and we'd make a lot of money off of it too. Now if only I didn't consider Reality Tv to be completely idiotic, it could work. Wait a second, it will work because Reality TV is completely idiotic! How silly of me - thanks for being dumb, America!