A post.. I promised a post. I even have one in mind but I don't particularly feel like writing when I've just spent the better part of my evening working on a paper that has currently gone .5 centimeters away from nowhere.

For want of a post that takes little to no effort, im going to list some things today that were disconcerting to me, in one way or another.

1. I had a Jean-Grey X-men type experience this morning in french class. Was not altogether pleasant and had me wishing I could take out everyone in the room, minus Kate. And possibly Amanda, although I didn't remember she was in the room at the time, partly due to mounting hysteria. When I say "Jean-Grey experience" I'm referring to the episodes she used to suffer, where her psychic defenses would crumble in a moment of weakness and she could hear everyone talking in her head, all at once. (wait.. Did she hear thoughts, or was she an empath? Or a little of both? Now im confused.)

Well, to understand my episode you have to understand the Ryan building, which is where they've sentenced English majors to spend 90% of their time. It is a tall brown building, which I have heard referred to as "the brown building of doom." It has no windows, very few exits out of the building, and harbours rats the size of poodles who can climb vertical walls (no jokes. I've seen one do it.)

So this morning I'm sitting in Stylistics and Composition, in a class the size of a shoebox, with 40 students and a teacher, and no windows. The teacher has us get together in pairs to work on a question in the textbook. Slowly but surely the noise level starts to rise, with everyone talking, and then yelling to try to be heard over all the talking, and it slowly escalates and escalates, and here I am trying to invert a question into the proper form to answer the question, and I start to freak out, Jean-Greying all over the place with the shaky hands and the teary eyes and blocking my ears and rocking back and forth looking for a way out.

It was pretty terrifying, and I don't think Kate was all that impressed.

2. Okay, so I've forgotten what I was going to write. Apparently I wasn't all that dicomfitted by this one. Or the next one. Damnit, I'm too tired and full of Emerson quotes to be able to do this.

I quit!

What's the opposite of a long-weekend?

Now I know some of you have been looking for a post the last few days, and had to navigate away grumbling, but let me tell you, weekends that are a day long don't leave you much time to dawdle around on the internet.

For most of you, if I said: "saturday morning _______," you would fill in the blank with "cartoons" or "brunch" or "sex." I, unfortunately, have had to (against my will,) fill that blank in with "3 hour class from hell." Now, when you have to wake up that early on a saturday morning, all you want to do when you get back is go to sleep. For me, this was compounded by the fact that I got a phone call about an hour and 10 minutes before I had to wake up for class. So Saturday was pretty much shot to hell what with class, then napping, then mad house-cleaning, and leisurely procrastination. Sunday was spent reading Emerson's essay on Nature over and over again, trying to find a workable thesis that is neither too simple or ludicrously hard. I've yet to succeed, but the paper's not due 'til Thursday.

Now it's 6 minutes into Monday, and I've just finished up a wonderful game of online scrabble where I absolutely raped my buddy Andrew, with a 249-181 score. I have yet to read a play that is supposed to be read by 10 am, and I have no plans to do so. I will probably feel badly about it later, but for now I think I will just go to bed. I suppose I can promise a real post in the near future, as I am nearly certain the week will warrant much more procrastination.

ciao,
the duck.

Happy birthday ol' girl...

Okay, so "old girl" may be stretching it a little, but it definately feels odd to have two decades under my belt, and this aging thing is just going to get weirder as we go.

I'm very excited for pizza and cheesecake, although I'd much rather have my gran's bundt cake to celebrate with.

Come to think of it, it was/is/will be shortly this blog's birthday...

*Enter Aside*

Aside: What, you're not going to check? You're just going to leave that vague sentence up there to confuse your readers?
Me: Well, I had planned on it, yes.
Aside: But you could just as easily open another window and look up the archives.
Me: Well yeah, but I'm lazy.
Aside: All it is is point and click -- look you've even got it bookmarked, I can practically do this using my psychic powers. Come on, do it --point and click.
Me: *sighs* No one's supposed to be able to make me do anything on my birthday, you know.
Aside: You really are young aren't you, to still believe that shit? You don't live with your parents anymore, little girl, welcome to the ~real~ world.
Me: You are mean Aside, now I know why Moo got rid of you. Look, the blog's birthday was September 19th, okay? Now get lost.
Aside: Hah. You just have no appreciation for an artistic temperment. So long duckie...

*Exit Aside*
...
*Sticks his head back in the door*

Aside: Oh, and by the way, happy birthday. hahaha

*slams the door and whistles away*

So um, yeah. That was pretty bizarre. I think Im going to go and make breakfast now.

Birthday breakfast, whoo! :)

Rain rain go away...

"It's raining it's pouring, the old man is snoring...."

"If all the raindrops were lemon drops and gum drops oh what a rain that would be...."

"Robin in the rain, what a saucy fellow, showers always make you gayyyy! Bet the worms are wishing you would stay at home, robin on a rainy dayy!"

"Rain, rain, go away, come again some other day..."

"...Down came the rain and washed the spider out..."

I feel like a crazy person. I look out the window this morning and it's pouring rain. Immediately after the gut- reactions: "fuck!" and "damn if i'm going to blowdry my hair this morning," childrens songs start playing in my head. At first they go nice and slow, and I indulge in a little nostalgia while in the shower, but then they start playing faster and faster and faster all together and its a big mess. I hate that humans are incapable of truly linear thought -- it would made things so much more comprehensive. And I would feel less like I belonged in a mental institution.

The funny thing about rain in Thunder Bay is that no-one is prepared for it. I own an umbrella -- but did I bother to take it to school with me? No, its in Guelph, a plane-ride away. And no one else here owns one either, so we are all reduced to wearing our winter coats because they are the closest things we have to waterproof jackets. It's really amusing to see people wandering around in winter coats when it's 13 degrees out.

uh oh.

I'mmmmmmmmmm in trouble...
I can't remember how to work!

*cough cough*

waking up early on my saturday for rez volleyball only to find that your team consits of two people, and that the other team doesn't show up late, and their team consists of two people, thereby taking away our defalt-win, Sucks. Oh, but then we kicked their ASSES on 3 on 3. Go us, for not being afraid of the ball.

La fin.

Okay, I totally deserve a saturday. yeuch.

School is just such a mess. A busy, expensive, frustrating mess. I can hardly wrap my head around being in school again. Somehow I skipped the transition part where I start thinking again a few weeks before school starts so that I can get on without looking like a complete prat. You know, those weeks where your mum used to say:

"alright, school is starting soon, I want you and your sister to start going to bed early, waking up earlier in the mornings and doing some preparation homework, to get you all psyched up for the schoolyear."

I mean, you never did any of those things, but you talked about it, you whined, finagled, and tantrumed your way out of it, but it got you thinking about school all the same. Parents are sneaky that way.

Textbooks this semester are ridiculous, 400 dollars -- when added it up I wanted to cry. One of them I'm really bitter about. It's for an education elective, and right away any Con Ed student at LU would perk up with a "wtf?" raised-eyebrow look because they don't usually assign textbooks to those courses for two very good reasons:

1. The Ed electives are worth a quarter credit. yep, they give out quarter credits, I didnt know that either.
2. They are only 9 weeks long, because proffessional year students go into placements after that.

So getting a textbook for a class with those special-circumstances is unfair and usually the profs are nice enough to realize and accomodate students by not assigning texts. Then I look at the price tag and the fucker is 85 dollars! Add to the fact that we're not using the textbook in class we're just expected to read the material in order to be tested on it!!! On top of that, the workload is about equivalent of a very work-intensive full semester course, if not a regular full year one. So I am pissed. P-i-s-s-e-d. Note the capital 'P.'

And of course all the profs have had their meeting where they decide which weeks to bury us in mountains of work. That's right, they get together to decide exactly when to assign all the tests, essays, and group-work in the same block of time, just to fuck with us. I know this because I've walked in on one of their sinister meetings - but that is a tale for another time, since I need time to make up a good story and maybe add some funky sound-effects.

But tomorrow is my one day of weekend. I get to play volleyball, go to the mall and just generally fuck around.

(Sorry about the vulgarity in this post, it just keeps spewing out, and I figure it's cleansing or something.)

I look forward to it.

current music: Go away, SR-71

Yay

Kate made me feel better by discovering that tetris only goes up to level 1o, with a bonus level 11. haha. I rock and I didn't even know it. yes!

Ahhh...

You know those mornings? Those fabulous mornings that you get once in awhile, where you wake up slow, take a good stretch, sing in the shower, sing out of the shower, and generally feel geat?

Well, I am having my morning, and it's pretty wonderful. I'm hoping the buzz will last through class, but I think that may be too much to ask for. But I got a good night's sleep, had a good morning, and I will have this post to remind me of it later.

plus: She's coming home today! *happy dance*



current music: Banana Pancakes, Jack Johnson (the ~perfect~ fabulous morning song)

Oh T.Bay, how I love thee...

From	fakeadress@lakeheadu.ca
Sent	Monday, September 12, 2005 4:50 pm
To	notarealemail@lakeheadu.ca
Cc

SECURITY BULLETIN
September 12, 2005
- 1 item

BEAR ALERT
A black bear has been sighted frequently on campus over the past several days. This bear does not seem to be disturbed with people being around. It has been sighted around the Fieldhouse, Lake Tamblyn, Residence area, and by the Avila Centre.

A bear trap will be placed today or tomorrow in an attempt to remove the bear from campus. In the mean time please be BEAR AWARE. Walk with someone at all times. Do not approach the bear. Do not run from a bear - back away slowly. Make yourself look larger by raising your arms in the air and make noise. Make sure all garbage is placed in the garbage bins.

Report all bear sighting to Security at 343-8569 or call the sighting in by using the blue emergency telephones.
============================

To Please Rawkit:

Well, I'm forcing myself to post something, even though I don't particularly feel like it. Rawkit wants something to do in her spare time, and since she's been checking the site 8 times a day since my last post, hoping I'd written something, (~anything!~) I thought that the least I could do would be to oblige her by doing what I do best: blathering on about nothing.

Yesterday was interesting, I spent far too much money again, mostly because printer ink costs the earth, and I got suckered into a sale at Bluenotes. Although, I am rather fond of the shirts I picked up. Both are graphic tees, nothing really special, but the one that caught my eye first is one for The Boy. I figure if he gets to dress up like a pirate on the plane, just to embarrass me, the least I can do is wear a shirt that says: "Everybody loves a Canadian Girl!" and get a maple leaf tattooed to my forehead. Or maybe only the first bit. -shh, it's a surprise!- The other shirt is fun too, and it says: "I (heart) Nerds" which is true, otherwise I wouldn't be going out with The Boy, whose pastimes include painting WarHammer (?) figurines, reading comics and playing videogames.

Yesterday classes started, and I finally got my schedule sorted out today. It involved dropping a course I'd really rather have kept, (Contemporary Fiction) to pick up another one in the fall (American Prose) that, at least, is being taught by a prof that I have had previously and enjoyed. Plus, since Rawkit got kicked out of her Creative Writing class because she's skipping school to go to the U2 concert, she's going to pick up the American Prose class too, and we're going to party together on Tuesday and Thursday evenings. And Monday mornings. And Tuesday mornings. Oh -- and Thursday mornings. Yeah, my best friend is in all but two of my classes. Handy, that. We're going to raise a little hell, mouahaha. Okay, well, we'll probably just sit demurely and take copious notes and then later on badmouth the Profs behind their backs. But it's all the same to us. ;)

I'm getting sleepy since I had a rough night last night, but I'm scared to go to sleep because of the nightmare I had. It was really bizarre, and started out really nice, with me babysitting some kids I fabricated, and going swimming with the dolphins, until it just turned really bad. There was this dolphin whose dorsal fin I was hanging on to, (like the marine trainers at Marineland do, and that kid in Free Willy!) and he was pulling this little girl and I through the water, and we were having a blast -- but suddenly the dolphin shrank to the size of cat, and couldn't pull us anymore, so we had to let it go to save it from drowning, and we were too far underwater and had to get to the top, and I had to try to save this girl but I couldn't. After that I don't remember anything until I am in a bookstore with my mother, brothers, and stepfather, as well as our Real-Estate agent Trish (which is VERY strange, since I don't particularly care for her.) And Trish is showing us all books that she thinks my parents should get me, but I don't want them to because they cost too much money and I am feeling guilty about something I have done, even though the books are beautiful and I want them badly.

Then, the next thing I know I have caught my biological father doing something bad, and confront him and he gets into a car with a trailer on the back and makes a getaway -- but I chase him down the street, and he stops the car in the middle of the street and starts shouting horrible things to me. And there is this dog, (and this is beyond disgusting and I do not like admitting my subconscious is capable of this) laying on the street - it's a beautiful Golden Retriever and it's been completely gutted, and my father picks up pieces of this dog that is lying all bloody and dead on the street and starts throwing them at me as he's yelling... And then I woke up.

Needless to say I felt pretty wretched when I woke up, and almost called The Boy, even though it was nearly 4:30am where he was, but I decided I could weather it on my own. I feel almost compelled to search for the meaning of the dream, but even though I don't put too much stock in that kind of thing, I don't think I really want to know anyway, it seems pretty horrible. Martin says he just tries to remember the feelings he has during dreams, and that gives a better picture of what is happening than having an owl or something in your dream and looking up "owl" in a dream dictionary or something. I think its petty clear that the feelings in the dream were fairly negative. Anyway, I don't think they will have an entry for "decimated Golden Retrievers."

On that note, I think I need a piece of chocolate.

Summer is officially dead

Wow, it's gone -- summer's gone!

It slipped by without me stopping to take a second glance. Tomorrow school starts up again, and it feels like I never left to begin with. This summer was great, and I owe it to a lot of things, but mostly I owe it to the people around me, at work and at home -- they were the ones who made this summer the one I will always remember. Time's ticking guys, and next thing you know I will be 24, newly graduated, and a full-fledged member of the adult-club. It's an odd revelation, when you come to realize that something you've always been waiting for is going to happen, and furthermore, its going to happen soon. It's like this gift you've been handed but you don't know whether or not you want to accept it, because doing so would be admitting that tomorrow won't be your birthday anymore.

Am I ready? Probably not. But I'm going to go at it with a smile on my face and my dukes up, just in case. I'll be fine.

omigodomigodomigodomigod!!!!!!

SHhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Something is VERY wrong with my camera! *sob*
You know, my brand new, very expensive, very un-warrantied digital camera!

I put new batteries in, and nothing happened --it didn't turn on, but the little metal piece on the bottom got very very very hot! THIS CANNOT BE GOOD!

omigodomigodomigodomigod!
im going to go drown myself now.

So, I'm currently ~not~ tubing, and I'm absolutely ecstaticly dopey-happy about it. The Boy suprised me and called me back around 1am and we talked until after 4, so I wasn't up for the early morning departure time. That's ok though, the phone call was definately worth it. And now I get a whole day minus volunteer responsibilities, so I'm going to pick up another one of those books for my 18th Century Lit class, go outside and hopefully get that done.

Catch-up

Well, I've finally heard from The Boy who has been incommunicado because of internet/phoneline connection problems at his new place. Apparently he went through quite a bit trying to get a hold of me, too -- he ended up calling my mother to find the number that he'd lost and Bob didn't remember he had. Apparently my mother and he had a nice little chat, (god help me) and although she had to rush off to visit my grandfather, who is currently in the hospital (it's wrong of me to be thankful she had to go, isnt it?) She wants him to call her back, which I have forbidden him to do, so there is about a 75% chance he will, just to spite me. However, it would mean awkwardness for him, so I have that hope, at least.

He's fine, school's started, so he's back in a routine. He says with all the late nights/mornings we had, he didn't even have to re-adjust to the time-difference because he never really got on Canada time. I find it funny that I'm the one who has to painfully pull myself out of bed in the morning because I slept in til noon for 2 weeks, and he gets off scot-free, even though he was the traveller.

He laughed at me when I told him I put on his shirt and cried myself to sleep after he left. The jerk. Ah well, he likes to harrass me, and it was kinda pathetic. At least he admitted he missed me -- he doesn't like to admit he has feelings unless it suits him.

Anyway, its midnight and I have another one of those early mornings tomorrow, so I'm off to bed.

*Insert Tetris Theme Here*

Man, there is something very wrong with me. I have become obsessed with this online version of Tetris. At first I couldn't get past level 9, and now that I finally have, I can't get past level 10. I mean, it's pure insanity, there is no point even trying because as soon as you get to level ten, even is you have one line not finished at the very bottom of the screen, you are going to have 9 pieces blocking your way in the .3 seconds it takes the ALL to get the bottom of the screen.

It's just not humanly possible.

And yet, for some reason, I find myself going to level one and starting all over again to see if, maybe, this time, I will be able to get to level 11. I'm thinking psychiatric evaluation might be a good idea at this point.

Volunteered again this morning, and again tonight, selling tickets for the tubing thingy tomorrow, and Orientation kits. I don't mind -- since I created the system, I can work with the system, and it's all good. If they had me hauling garbage bags or touring people around campus 8 hours a day, I might get annoyed, but selling stuff? I can handle that.

Also today I have managed to get through one of the novels I need to read once school starts. Now I only have 9 more novels 4 plays and a few short stories to get through, besides the textbooks. And this is only the fall semester.

I am excited for tonight, because I finally get to see Mr. & Mrs. Smith, which is what they are playing at the outdoor movie where I am going to be selling tickets. I've wanted to see that since it came out, ages ago. Once I even made it to the theatre with Elise, but we were 40 minutes late for the show because I guess the site I used to check the time had a typo. I am also excited for tomorrow, tubing should be great, especially if Kerri and Chris come, so I won't have to float alone. At first I was scared about how cold it was going to be, (especially since I woke up this morning at 6, clutching the blankets to myself and seriously thinking about turning the heat on, and then when I woke up for good at 8, it was 5 degrees outside) but they're calling for a high of 29, so that's not bad, not bad at all.

I should really go and eat something, because I haven't yet, and it's after 8. But I keep going down to make myself something and then get down there and decide I'm not hungry after all and go right back up and play another round of Tetris. It's probably laziness, is what. Maybe I should go try and take care of that.

PS-- sorry, I felt like messing with colours.

Weirdism

The craaaaaaaziest thing has just happened. Anyone remember my roomate last year, who was from Finlandia? We called her Olga and didn't get along with her all that well. We all thought she had gone back to Finlandia, never to be seen again -- well, think again. Yesterday I'm wandering around campus when who do I spy but Olga herself! And not only Olga, but her creepy newfie boyfriend from last year, who she started going out with 3 weeks before she let, and then re-arranged her flight to go meet his parents before she went back to Finlandia. Quite beside myself, I plaster the biggest smile on my face and go up to her

thinking: Holy shit! She's back from Hell-sinki! (bad pun, sorry.)
me: Olga! Holy shit! How are you?!
O : Great, how are you?
: I'd be better if you were in Finland you bitch
me: I'm really good, how come you're back?
O: Well, I didn't know I would be back until this summer actually.
: You always were a slow one.
me: Oh? Well that's great, I never thought I would see you again!
: if I only I'd never had to...
O: *twitters*
me: So, where are you living?
: Who the fuck twitters? Please let it not be next door...
O: Over in phase two this year, actually.
me: Ahh, well that's cool.
: Too bad it isn't further.
newfie: *coughs*
me: Oh, I'm sorry, I don't remember your name.
: I wouldn't waste the brain cells required..
newfie: oh, yeah, I'm Steve* (I could be wrong, wasn't paying too much attention)
: Can I call you the Creepy Newfie Guy, instead? Don't try to shake my hand you C-N-G, hands off!
me: Well, uh....... *awkward pause*
: Shit, I've run out of things to say, do I pull out Harry Potter, the Hurricane or just make a break for it?
me: Anyway, I'm sorry to have interupted your walk... I'll just... go now.


And then I ran away. Weird, huh? Just one of those things that makes you stop and stare. Aww, it's nearly 7 -- I have to go back and finish volunteering now, I had a break for a few hours, but I'm off to work again. Oh -- and by the way, I eventually remembered why I volunteer: new people and free stuff. woot!

Volunteer turns to Volun-told.

Man, why do I do this stuff to myself? I mean I know the theory to Volunteering with orientation was to stave off boredom... but I never get bored! There's always something to do! Probably because I waste my time volunteering for people who A) Don't appreciate it and B) Dump everything they can on the poor volunteer who obviously wanted to be dumped on without recognition. Blarg. Okay, and maybe I was trying to be mother Theresa and help the poor first years that step off the plane like I did, without the benefit of parentals and any clue about what to do with themselves. But... who cares about them, really!? I muddled through just fine, didn't I? (with the help of a friendly RA....)

They basically signed me up for every shift that other people weaseled out of at the last minute. The plan was to keep myself busy for a couple hours this week, not getting up at 830am every day this week and also not having to find a couple spare minutes to myself to buy my freaking school books. *le sigh*

In other news: do NOT go to see Bewitched, it is soo wrong. Nicole Kidman pretending to be Meg Ryan prentending to be Samatha. And Will Ferrell. Don't even get me started on him. Complete waste of time. On the upside though, I only payed four dollars to see it at this discount cinema I discovered with Kerri, circa the 1800's. Pretty awesome.

Now to sleep, to dream... because I have to get up at an ungodly hour. yeesh.