Confessions of a great big Loser
Ahh, pathetic fallacy, how I love thee.
I'm miserable, in case you couldn't tell.
It's a shame, after such a great couple of weeks, but then, I guess its all to be expected, isn't it? The Boy's been here for that long, you see. And for those of you who don't know -- The Boy is the guy who I'm very emotionally attached to right now. Also he is from Reno, Nevada -- exactly 2169.10 miles, 1 country and several states away (it varies depending on which way you go.) And yes, I met him on the internet. *gasp!*
Well, get over it, it happens, and I'm tired of apologizing or making excuses for it. If the cab driver from T.Bay Ontario can have a net girlfriend in Argentina (no jokes,) then I can have a boy from Reno. Now, its not like im saying that having a net boyfriend is a good idea either, because mostly, its not, and I'm lucky he wasn't an axe murderer or anything. Now, if you're realistic you'll know that long distance relationships don't work. And I know. All that's left to determine is whether 2 weeks of bliss (maybe that's the wrong word) is worth the subsequent pain of separation.
We had a blast, rented a car, did day trips, got lost, dropped car-keys down waterfalls, watched countless movies, played in the rain, shared stories, I cooked, he read to me, played table tennis, video games and real-life mortal combat (where I got slapped around a whole lot more than he did -- but he was ticklish: so I cheated.)
And now he's gone.
It's probably melodramatic of me to be wondering if it's my bad-karma from a past life that has me living so far away from a guy I could get very comfortable with, but that's the way my mind is leaning right now. He's been gone 11 hours now, and although I 'm no longer in tears I am wearing a shirt he forgot that still smells like him (how cliched) and thinking about him non-stop. And worse, I have no idea what to do with myself. I normally have no problems being alone - hell, usually I relish it. But the house is so empty, and I cant bring myself to do anything.
even finish this post...
posted by swanky_little_duck @ 7:46 p.m.
1 Comments:
Don't worry my lovely, I know the feeling of missing the boy that you want to be with always, and the wearing of the shirts that smell like him, and the crying for much too long and sometimes completely at random. And hey, n omatter what, always know it's worth it, because even if things don't work out (knock on wood) you'll learn a lot about making relationships work, and trust, and all that stuff. And if it only took me four months of separation with occasional weekend visits, then it must be true.
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